A Message from the Convener of Affirmation Scotland
Some years ago, on a year when St Valentine’s Day fell on a Sunday, I was leading worship and decided to speak to the children in church about St. Valentine. I told them the story of the saint and the customs surrounding his day and then asked, ”So, who sends you cards on St Valentine’s Day?” A wee girl, of around eight or nine, put up her hand and replied, “Your boyfriend.”
I inwardly grinned and rejoiced at the answer. If only she knew – and if only the congregation had known – how true the answer might have been. Unfortunately that year my partner hadn’t sent me a Valentine’s card – and he rarely does!
I heard and received that answer as an innocent affirmation of my relationship and so of my sexuality – and so also of me. I took it as such because I think that lgbt people in the church need to receive and accept affirmation from anywhere we can get it – whether intended or not.
Affirmation Scotland has been formed to do precisely this. We are an infant organisation, growing out of the tensions within the Church of Scotland surrounding sexuality. This is the first time in the history of the Kirk that people – gay and straight – have got together and said, “Enough is enough: we affirm the reality that many lgbt people live with a faith in God, follow Jesus in their lives and belong to the Kirk. Even if we’ve got to speak quietly and even if people want us silenced or removed, we are here and we affirm our right to be here as followers of Jesus Christ.”
It’s not news that homosexuality is the hot topic in the Christian church and that the way in which we understand the Bible is at the heart of the discussion: – but so too is the age old unease in the Christian church with matters sexual and bodily. The Bible belongs to the whole church and we must learn to hear it speak to us all with voices that challenge us – for it does not speak with one voice. The church ought to be a place of honesty where people can find their lives and loves affirmed and supported: there’s nothing to be gained by dismissing as sinful the relationships of love and respect people work hard to create. We have to rediscover our belief in the incarnation: that a life lived in the fleshy reality of a body does matter - and that it is in the fleshy reality of Jesus that we believe we learn who God is.
Over the years I’ve ‘put my head above the parapet’ on a few occasions and spoken out on sexuality issues. Maybe I didn’t say enough but the Kirk has not been, and isn’t, a safe place in which to say certain things. Because the church is not a safe place it is possible for people to use the knowledge of a person’s sexuality to threaten, blackmail or bully. I know this from personal experience. Despite the fact that many people in the Kirk know about my “personal circumstances” (as it’s so often euphemistically put) I am still not prepared to be open and out on these web-pages. I hope that the members of Affirmation Scotland will forgive me for that and respect that decision. I hope that as Convenor of AS I can play some small role in supporting people, changing attitudes and changing the church.
[July 2006]