On Kindness
It’s political correctness gone mad.” I’ve heard that comment frequently, often in relation to the use of language or a claim for equality. I’ve no doubt that some people in the church view the idea of gay people “being allowed” to be ministers as “political correctness gone mad.”
Just what is political correctness? Like the word “spirituality” it’s thrown around casually as if we all know what it means. One difference between the two is that when spirituality is spoken of it’s usually seen as a good thing; but political correctness is rarely spoken of favourably.
I’ve been involved in creating new sacred spaces in hospitals and rather than refer to chapels we speak of ‘The Sanctuary.’ The aim has been to create a space that is inclusive of all faiths, inviting and welcoming to people of no faith, and attractive enough to make people want to use it for prayer, meditation or just chilling out. And there have been critics who have said that in making space for the needs of the smaller faith communities it’s “political correctness gone mad. What’s wrong with a chapel!”
I think political correctness is a good thing. When I use inclusive language in worship, and I always do, I do it because I think it is right to speak of ‘men and women,’ or to talk of people, rather than men; and to avoid gender references to God. It seems to me that our language must say what we want it to say. Therefore if I intend to refer to males and females in my speaking I simply ought to use ‘people’ or ‘humanity’ and not ‘mankind.’ To do anything else is a misuse of language and exclusive of people who I want to include.
Similarly with God. We all know that God is not a man, or a woman, and that human words are under strain when applied to God. So why do we keep referring to God as ‘He.’ It’s laziness of language and a lack of imagination in writing liturgy. Our words must express what we believe or we speak a lie. If we do believe that God is not male, or female, let our language voice that belief.
A key area where use of language is dismissed as “political correctness gone mad” is when a white person wishes to speak of people who have a different skin colour. Referring to people as “coloured” is remarkably common, and it betrays the assumption that pinky-white is not a colour. Why are people referred to by something that marks them out as different when it’s totally unnecessary to do so. It’s superfluous to say “lady minister” or “coloured doctor.” No one speaks of me as “going-grey-haired chaplain.” That would be less than kind – though true.
Language is just one area where people get worked up over political correctness. Having a stock of large print hymn books in church for use by people with visual impairments; ensuring our buildings are accessible by those who use a wheelchair.
Political correctness is about using language that is accurate, says what we want it to say, and in the process gives people dignity and worth. Political correctness is about making changes in policy and practise that enshrine the principle that people ought to be treated fairly, as equals and with respect.
Our nation has made a number of changes in welfare benefits, immigration law and the like to attempt to accommodate the needs of refugees and asylum seekers. The attempts are often dismissed as political correctness gone mad. But what is wrong with attempts to give strangers in our country some help. It’s not political correctness – it’s simple kindness - and how could any Christian object to that.
The conclusion I’ve reached is that political correctness, however we define it, is actually simple old-fashioned kindness. It’s not a word we use very often, perhaps; maybe it’s seen as old fashioned. It came back into my vocabulary after reading On Kindness by Adam Phillips and Barbara Taylor a while back. Here’s just one quote from what is a fascinating and helpful book: “Being kind always makes us feel better, and yet being kind is not something we do as often as we would like” (p71.)
Next time you’re accused of being “politically correct” answer with, “No, I’m simply being kind.” (But say it in a kind way!)
Kindness is a Biblical word: Paul talks about God’s kindness to us in Jesus (Eph 2:7) and entreats Christians to be kind to one another (Eph 4:32.) He lists kindness as one of the fruits of the spirit - and says there is no law against it (Gal 5:23.) Love, of course, is kind (1 Cor 13.)
It’s not a dominant thread in the weave of theology yet I think there is much to be gained by reflecting upon kindness as an imperative component of Christian behaviour. Kindness, it seems to me, is oriented towards action, in a way that love often isn’t. It’s a word and a concept laden with doing as well as being. No-one can object to kindness so it’s a useful corrective in assessing a person’s language and behaviour. In this way, to refer to a person as “coloured” is simply not kind (as well as being inaccurate.) Likewise, when we have people in our society who are fleeing injustice overseas and have come looking for refuge, there are kind things we can try and do. The creation of Civil Partnerships can be viewed as a kindness – kind people want to create justice, after all.
It is also unkind to discriminate against people, to exclude people, to refuse to hear a person’s side of the story, to speak half truths about a person. Let’s have a bit more kindness – there’s no law against it.
What would a kind church be like?